Feeling down... So, this will probably be the sad post... Well, gonna do a more happier post, probably, but not really sure how... Argh!
There I go again, my gastric kept hurting... And I just dun feel like eating much... Forcing food down.
At night, will try to get some comfort food... Well, but I only had probably 3 pieces of the cookie that I bought from the cookie museum, which is $35!!! Argh... Here's a little picture of the nice tin of cookies...
Wanted to get warm milk at night as well, but, it always seem that there is no hot water... Kinda made me felt worst...
Well, recently, just rejected an offer. It's really just SHITS! It's a part-time lighting artist job. First thing, the project does not interest me at all. Next, the way the hiring person wants the pay to be completely sucks. He said if I'm able to have 5 approved shots done within 1 night, which is 4 hours, then he'll pay me by hour rate. So, he'll start off with a by shot rate first. At first, he said, 1 shot I finish will be $4. So I bargain, and got $20 per shot. It's a night shift, $4 does not even cover my transport at all. So, just try out. Then I realized I've forgotten about revisions. Rarely will there be shots that will be completed so easily with no problems. Then, plus revisions? In a way, if the client doesn't like the way it's lighted, and refuse to approve it? What kinda shit is that? And, it's suppose to be just lighting? No. It's lighting, setting up the layers, rendering, checking and compositing. And paid like that? Even transport fees are not enough to cover! And even those without experience get paid more than me! I might not have alot of experience, but at least, I've done that for quite some time.
First thing when people say things such as, 'money is no an issue.' If it is not an issue, why bother to be so defensive about it? If it really isn't an issue, u won't even talk about it.
It's just all fucking shits!
Being young is not a reason to be bullied! Being young doesn't mean that I have not put in any hardwork. Being young doesn't mean that I might have a long time to go. Being young doesn't mean that I have to give chances to older people who just started to change into this industry!
It just really sucks! Maybe because I look ugly, that's just why. My skin sucks, and my intelligence level is not very high. There's just probably nothing really good about me.
Darn... I'm just losing control. I think I shall just get a PSP to really sink myself into the fantasy world and vent my anger. Argh... I'm just really sick of thinking about saving money everytime and trying to earn more money everytime...
I just dun know how to be happy... Everytime I've tried to put up with a smile outside, but deep down I'm just screaming and feeling so tired... I dun feel like talking to people anymore, I've nothing interesting to talk about or anything to say. I am just alone.
Argh! Whatever! Heck care!!!! Darn! Just wanna write this entry to just vent my anger or whatsoever... I just damn stressed out!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Stressed out... Can't smile.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Darn!!!! I didn't know!!!! Things I WAN!!!!!
That's is pretty weird. Quite alot of people are feeling down these days. All for the complicated lives, probably. I didn't really know and I think it's best not to ask either. Well, I guess that's just life.
Argh... I've just gotta fire up my engine... But now it's pretty hard!!!! Darn!
Went to Kino just now. ARGH!!!! So many graphic novels/comics I wanna buy! Damn! Those companies that produced them are GOOD!!!! They just keep their readers trap in their world! When u think 1 story have ended, they start a new one which is somewhat linked to the first one! Argh... Like, TopCow, wanna get the whole series of Witchblade, Darkness, and First Born. All of them seem to link together.
And then, there is Hellboy! Darn! Hellboy II is GOOD!!! It really just makes me collect the whole of the comics! There is even 1 series that talk about the paranormal facility in Hellboy! Argh! And what about the story of the Steam guy in Hellboy?
It's all a trap!!!
Even in Japanese, Clamp. Almost all their titles are sorta linked. Like a side character in one story appears as a main character in another story. It just continues like that. Trapped in the world of Clamp! And they used different medias to tell the story, like comic books, Animation series or even Movies!
Yikes!!!! I so so so wanna buy all of these!!!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Just screaming! AHHHHHH!!!!!
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Hmm... missed something out in my past entry. Oh ya, now I'm doing part-time teaching in a Secondary school on how to use the software. Sure hope things will go smoothly! Need to write a car tutorial for the students. Well, kinda funny...
I was supposed to write down their names in the floor plan to fix their sitting position. Their names are really good names! And I just sorta got shocked a bit.
Case #1:
Me: May I have your name please?
Student: Conan.
Case #2:
Me: May I have your names please?
Student: Hi! I'm Moses and he is Noah!
Those are their real names! Well, of course, at first I thought they are joking cause they are laughing all the way, but when I check the register, it really is their name! And Moses and Noah are sitting together! Whoa!
Okay, great... Darn... feel so no life... Argh! Somehow, feel like buying some plain white T-shirt and paint!!! Grr!!!! Maybe I should visit the temple and eat herbal jelly too! And exercise more and tan!!!
Man... I hate my skin... I just feel like peeling them off!!! Argh... let it grow out nice and healthy looking skin!
Darn! Complain complain complain!!!! AHHHH!!!!!!!
A new haircut!
Again, i'm so damn bored!
I got a new haircut:
Well, have been doing a test for job for around 2 weeks, i'm a little late for the submission, and the end product looks kinda flat... the metal doesn't look like metal either... yikes... Not too sure if I can get the job. Well, but since I did put effort in building the robot up, might as well send it, better than I waste my efforts by not even sending.
Argh. Every time I think something will turn out to be good, it always doesn't. It's like, I always end up with nothing in the end. Darn!
Okay, I'm really sick of doing my reel for the time being... missed 2 freelance jobs. And gotta write tutorial, which I haven't even try doing the model out yet. Then, I'm getting a little brain dead...
Well, yesterday went to watch hellboy! Whoa!!! Nice! Now I kinda wanna look at the comics, like the design of the creatures...
Before even getting to the cinema, I nearly fell into the track of the train, it's just so crowded and people pushing around, it's really kinda dangerous. Luckily, I'm fat enough to not fall, it's really dangerous for kids. They really should build the glass panels for those stations.
Oh well, then some conversations in the past few weeks? Hmm... randomly typing things to blog...
#1:
A friend went over to his bag to get his wallet to pay me the money he owe. Then, I'm chatting with another friend:
Friend(looking at the guy searching for his wallet): I think he lost his wallet!
Me: Huh... Okay, then nevermind.
Me: ... Nevermind, I accept cheque too!
#2:
Walk by a cookie stall with cute cookie designs!
Me: These are cute! Great for valentine's day gift!
Then, I whisper to my friend: It's cheap!
#3:
Went to look at the environment friendly bags in an Australia products fair during night time:
Friend: So what are the bags made of?
Salesman: Australia...
Salesman: Oh er... Sorry, it's a mixture of polyester and.... (I've forgot)
Friend: So how much can the bag hold up to?
Salesman: The bag can hold up to a total of 12 dollars... erm, sorry, 12 kg.
Salesman: Sorry, I'm tired.
Darn! I'm so mean, I can't hold the laughter... yikes...
Okay so that's the random stories.
Bored... I wanna catch movies. I just wanna GET OUT!!! Argh...